CANADIAN COMPUTER TERMS


  1. Log on - Make the wood stove hotter

  2. Log off - Don't add no more wood

  3. Monitor - Keep an eye on that wood stove

  4. Download - Getting the firewood off the truck

  5. Floppy disk - What you get from trying to carry too much firewood

  6. Ram - The thing that splits the firewood

  7. Hard Drive - Getting home in the winter

  8. Prompt - What the mail ain't in the winter

  9. Window - What to shut when it's cold outside

  10. Screen - What to shut in black fly season

  11. Byte - What the black flies do

  12. Bit - What the black flies did

  13. Mega Byte - What the BIG black flies do during trout season

  14. Chip - Munchies for TV

  15. Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you eat the chips

  16. Modem - What you did to the weeds growing in the driveway

  17. Dot matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife

  18. Lap top - Where the beer spills when you pass out

  19. Software - The dumb plastic knives and forks they give you at McDonald's

  20. Hardware - Real stainless steel cutlery

  21. Mouse - What makes the holes in the Cheerio box

  22. Main frame - What holds the house up, hopefully

  23. Enter - The only way to win those magazine ad sweepstakes

  24. Web - What a spider makes

  25. Web site - High corners of the ceiling

  26. Cursor - Someone who swears

  27. Search Engine - What you do when the car dies

  28. Screen Saver - repair kit for the torn window screen

  29. Home Page - map you keep in your back pocket just in case you get lost in the woods

  30. Upgrade - Steep hill

  31. Server - waitress

  32. Mail Server - male waitress, damn few in the North country

  33. MS DOS - Some new disease they discovered

  34. Sound Card - One of them technological birthday cards that plays music when you open it

  35. User - The neighbor who keeps borrowing stuff

  36. Browser - A problem deer in the Garden or Blueberry Patch

  37. Network - Mending holes in the gillnet

  38. Internet - Complicated fish net repair method

  39. Netscape - What Lake Trout do when you don't do your network

  40. Online - Good sign there'll be clean clothes this week

  41. Off line - The clothes pins let go and the laundry falls on the ground



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Revised: 26 February 2002