ONLY A MOTHER
Only a mother....
- Can listen to the same knock-knock joke 27 times without hollering "Nobody's Home."
- Will be a Scrabble partner with a kid who thinks "cookie" begins with "k."
- Will unwind 56 feet of toilet paper so her little darling can have the empty roll...to make a Mother's Day present.
- Knows the location of every drive-through window in town.
- Knows the exact temperature a crayon will melt on the dashboard.
- Will try to hide a leafy green vegetable in a cookie.
- Will buy an 8 x 10 photo of her little darling with a palm tree growing out of her ear.
- Knows the secret to happy grocery shopping with a toddler...visit the bakery aisle first and plug his lips with a big cream horn.
- Can cherish the 1,000th bleating of "Twinkle, Twinkle" from a budding violinist.
- Will show up at work wearing Mickey Mouse stickers on her posterior.
- Sees a Picasso in those scribbles decorating the fridge.
- Knows all the verses to "This Old Man."
- Can deal out emergency lunch money from the dryer lint filter.
- Can find her last good pair of panty hose hitching a wagon to a tricycle.
- Knows the surefire way to get three kids to eat carrots...buy two carrots.
- Is limber enough to wrestle a fitted sheet onto the top bunk bed.
- Invests fifty dollars in stale macaroons to help send the French Club to Disneyland.
- Will attempt to grow hydroponic tomatoes in one night for a last-minute science project.
- Can see across town and locate a missing shoe from her office desk phone.
- Can switch from cook to catcher in an instant.
- Has a bathtub that's filled with little yellow duckies.
- Seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
Thanks to snowy for passing this one along to me.
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Revised: 26 February 2002